* slower than Alka-Seltzer in a glass of chicha
Expression used here and there by Some People
It's an exaggeration used to describe people who are not too bright or a bit dumb, or to describe slow things in general.
"¿Todavía no entiendes la película? Sois más lento que alka-seltzer en vaso de chicha."
"Do you still not get the movie? You're slower than alka-seltzer in a glass of chicha."